
Golden Rule Organization (GRO)
Teachers/Counselors
The
self-improvement methods used by GRO are specifically designed to be
"self-help" methods. You should be able to just read the "GR
Workbook" to learn how to immediately begin using the techniques. While
some aspects may be similar, it is not a 12-step program, and doesn't require
the same type of interactions or group leaders.
However,
as with many types of group therapy or counseling, it is helpful to have a group
leader. As with marriage counseling or abuse therapy, it is also best to have
someone who is objective, and not taking sides with one party or another, and
who doesn't have a personal agenda.
Sometimes
irresolvable disputes arise between those who are using the GR self help therapy
method. For instance, disagreements, or even old "sore spots" between
husbands and wives, family members, etc., can come up. Most often, when issues
are brought up, there isn't a clear "you're right and you're wrong"
answer - more than one party in an argument may be both right and wrong, or part
of their involvement was right, and part of their involvement was wrong. When
defensiveness and "ego" flare up, no one may be willing to admit their
responsibility.
GR
groups or fellowship meetings that don't have someone who all parties respect
and have agreed to grant the authority to interject and make final decisions
(sort of like a judge, mediator or arbitrator), are likely to fail. What
happens, is that the ability for the method to work will break down or become
less effective when an irresolvable dispute arises.
Thus,
it is VERY important to have someone to play the role of group session
leader. This doesn't even need to be the same person every time. It just
requires that all parties involved have a true commitment to personal
growth and wanting constructive criticism to see the truth about
themselves, no matter how humiliating or painful it may be. If a group
is unable to do that with other members who may be involved in a
dispute, they may at least seriously listen to an objective group
leader's viewpoints and comments without defensiveness and ego-based
resistance. The last thing you want is for people to "agree"
with the group leader while in truth they are just repressing their true
feelings and "biting their tongue". This can happen when
opinions/decisions don't go the way you think they should (which is always
the case for someone in the meeting).
Again,
the GR Workbook and the methods laid out in it for self-improvement, were
designed to be "self-help" techniques to be used without a teacher or
counselor. But that requires all parties in a group meeting to be humble and committed
enough to finding the best solution, or truth, rather than everyone's priority
being looking "good", "right", and trying to avoid looking
"bad" or "wrong".
If
you or your fellow GR meeting participants don't truly want self-improvement
badly enough to be willing to see yourself, warts and all, then it will not be
successful, or will have very limited success.
Sometimes
a group can achieve this without a group leader, if each member agrees that if
there is a unanimous opinion by all other members, that they will admit the
majority is very likely to be right.
If
you already have a religion, may we suggest that you ask your spiritual guidance
representatives to help (minister, rabbi, priest, lama, abbot/head monk, cleric
or whatever your religion calls your spiritual guides).
Some
people would like a GRO member to play the role of an objective group leader.
But besides being spread too thin at this time, we also only want to teach
people how to help themselves - not be involved in their lives any further than
that (other than occasional counseling if absolutely necessary). We don't want
to, and won't, preach or tell people what to do with their lives.
That
being said, we recognize the need for truly objective arbitrators, and that
there is a difference in trying to achieve self-improvement using constructive
criticism, by following a book versus personal instruction. This is especially
true if you don't have an objective group therapy leader who is respected enough
by all parties to have their opinion be listened to without holding grudges or
living with repressed anger under the surface - that is unhealthy for
everyone.
However,
it can be done without an objective group leader. Sometimes it just requires
demonstrating how to do it by an objective third party who is experienced in
using this method.
Thus,
a person who has experienced successful GR method therapy sessions, and
"knows the ropes", can often be helpful getting a new therapy group
off to a good start, or "jump starting" a group that has become
"stuck" a rut of denial or disagreements. That would be the job of a
GR teacher or counselor.
We
fully intend to create seminars and retreats, in which a GR group, couple or
family can learn what it takes "hands on", and how to go about having
successful GR therapy meetings.
Unfortunately,
our resources and teachers/counselors are spread very thin right now. However,
we may be able to help people in that way, any time now. So drop us an email,
explain your situation, and we'll get back to you on how we may be able to help.
If people are willing, they may be able to have a representative of GRO to come
to your hotel and give lessons. But we strongly recommend that you simply start
with the book, and give it a try on your own FIRST.
In
order to be certain that no one is falsely representing themselves as a GRO
group leader/teacher, we maintain a list of certified
instructors/counselors. We urge you to email us to verify teacher/counselor
status.
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